Tributes

Over the years I have written various tributes to my dad—on my blog, http://yesh-indeed.blogspot.com/; in my poetry book, Salt & Pepper; and in my ethical will, Blessings—all of which can be accessed on my website, http://yeshaya.net/.

Clearly this blog is an indication of the love and respect I hold for him. Those who knew me as an adolescent rabbi’s kid know what a struggle that was, and that I had barely turned the corner toward adulthood and some semblance of maturity when he was gone. As a consequence I missed the opportunity to have much adult dialog with him, and for decades after his death that breach remained intact. 

It was the Spring of 1991, twenty-one years ago, when that serendipitously shifted. Two specific events led to this. The first was when asked by a therapist how it felt to be the rabbi’s son I blurted out to my own surprise, “I hated it!” Somehow those three words—understood by all my friends I later learned, but hidden to me—magically unraveled the knot that stood between me and truly embracing my father. Supporting that was the discovery of Robert Bly and the Men’s Movement that gave me greater insight into father/son relationships and a new vocabulary with which to reconnect with my father.

Accessing and reading his sermons this past year has provided, at least in part, the dialog that had been missing for so long.

Were I able to sit with him on his 100^th birthday what would that be like? Other than giving him a Mounds Bar, his favorite candy, I can only imagine that I would hug and kiss him, that I would thank him for being the person he was—a man of great integrity, passion, strength, leadership, Yiddishkeit, and love—and for leaving such a clear legacy. I would pledge to him to do whatever was in my power to pass on this legacy, to preserve not just Jewish values, but the Jewish people upon whom those values depend. I learned from his words that our people have given much to society including many of the ideals of democracy. If we have been a light unto the nations it has been with careful guarding of the source of that light, the spark of Judaism that has prevailed for thousands of years despite many attempts to extinguish it. This is no time to let that flame flicker. 

So happy birthday, Dad! God willing, in another hundred years your descendants will read your words and draw as much inspiration as I have.

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Below are a few tributes and reminiscences that we have been blessed to receive from friends and former congregants. You are invited to add to these directly on the Rabbi Sidney Ballon Facebook page.

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For my Rabbi – my memories of Rabbi Sidney Ballon

Submitted by Rick Ehrlich

I am familiar with the names and families posting on this blog as my family belonged to Nassau Community Temple and there was only one Rabbi as far as I am concerned – Rabbi Sidney Ballon. Whoever came after Rabbi Ballon retired does not linger in my memory and is unimportant to me.  To say that Rabbi Ballon was a central part of my life would be a gross understatement.

My first and earliest memory of meeting Rabbi Ballon was at age 4 or 5 when he came to our home. I was sliding down the stairs in my underwear while Rabbi sat nearby in the living room and talked with my mother. Somehow I recall asking Rabbi about life and death and he responded without hesitation to satisfy my curiosity. I remember that he talked to me about Adam and Eve, or enough to satisfy my questions.  We were new to the community in the mid-1950s and my life consisted of going to temple and years of religious school from Consecration to Bar Mitzvah, Confirmation, and graduation from the religious school.

After my Bar Mitzvah Rabbi Ballon was my teacher in the high school years and my memory of Rabbi is that he was always “on-duty”.  It was while at Joseph Eisner Camp Institute in Great Barrington that I actually got to see Rabbi Ballon in a more relaxed atmosphere and he seemed fully at ease, or “off-duty” My early years at the camp were times with Rabbi Ballon’s children Jeff, Muff (Martha) and Doug. I know that I saw more of the Ballon family (with exception of Rabbi Ballon) at Camp Institute. One day, word got around the camp to the few of us from Nassau Community Temple that Rabbi Ballon was at camp. This meant that Rabbi was actually at the manor house which was used for retreats and seminars on the property of the camp. No sooner than the word circulated through the dining hall about the presence of Rabbi Ballon in camp, that a group of us ran to the Manor House in order to have a few minutes with him. This of course was all “unauthorized behavior” without permission etc., but while at camp it was in fact de rigueur for adolescents to think for themselves and deal with consequences later.

Running across the space of what was known as the “universal lawn” to the manor house was a snap and it was with great pleasure to find Rabbi Ballon standing outside the manor house, resplendent in a summer outfit made him appear to be most relaxed and enjoying himself.  It was a marked difference from seeing Rabbi at temple.  Instead of a jacket and tie with the shirt buttoned up and tie knotted fully, he was relaxed, smiling and equally pleased to see us as we were to see him, surrounded by the beauty of the Berkshires. It was a delicious moment.

If there are any regrets on my part, it is that I did not have more moments like these to hang with Rabbi Ballon. There were plenty of times that I saw Rabbi at temple, both in and outside of services but he was always the adult and elder to me.  Occasionally in religious school, I would see him relaxed and smiling but there would never be any mistake about Rabbi Ballon. He was ramrod tall, to the point, full of knowledge, and always in charge. A memorable moment occurred when Rabbi seemed to be relaxed and energized was upon his return from Israel, he surprised us by suddenly and unexpectedly entering the classroom and proclaiming “your commander in chief is back!” in that great sonorous voice of his. The big smile on Rabbi’s face was greeted with applause and laughter as we were all put at ease.

Rabbi Ballon was family to the members of NCT and those who knew him. I was stunned to hear of Rabbi Ballon’s passing shortly after he retired.  To me, Rabbi Ballon was the Nassau Community Temple. Cantors would come and go, but Rabbi Ballon was a constant from my earliest memory of the Quonset hut on Woodfield Road, with the goat farm across the street.  And when the temple moved to the new building on Hempstead Avenue, Rabbi Ballon did more than serve the community and the temple, he was the temple and the rock of the community.

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Shalom to the community of the late RABBI SIDNEY BALLON—

Although Rabbi Ballon was not my rabbi—he was the father of my best friend—he influenced me in a profound way—as did my own Rabbi Harold Saperstein Z"L—who was his colleague and friend on the south shore of Long Island in the heyday of the great suburban baby boom generation.

Rabbi Ballon personified the great generation of reform rabbis. He was dignified, Judaically and secularly highly educated. Most of all, he stood for something and was not afraid to speak his mind to high and low alike. That generation will not come again.

I could never aspire to be like him or Harold; however, his example guides me in my best moments and humbles me when I fail to be like him, which is often.

Zichrono livrakha—his memory is a blessing.

James Mirel, Rabbi C'74

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Hello Doug (the name we know you by)

It was touching and meaningful to have your email forwarded to us. We remember you as a bright, bouncy young boy, young man. And the memories of your Mom and Dad, of blessed memories, are many and beautiful.

Your Dad officiated at our son's Bar Mitzvah in 1968. We remember so well  the encouraging and admiring words he uttered to Douglas that day. Among them were the following as best we remember, "Douglas, you see these grey hairs on my head? Some of them are due to you." Linda's Hebrew Recognition and Confirmation were bestowed by your Dad. Rabbi Ballon was an inspiration to both Linda and Douglas. Stanley has memories of meaningful retreats (in Chappaqua?) that he attended with your father.

Though many people addressed your Dad as Sidney, I could not do that. To me it seemed a breech of respect for your father who was a leader, a scholar, a teacher who inspired and encouraged us all. We are blessed to have had him in our respective lives.

Susan & Stanley Kolker

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I have attached a photo of Rabbi Ballon officiating at our wedding in 1974.

Rabbi B was a dear friend of my parents, Marge & Howard Fener, and agreed to marry Leigh & me in their backyard in Hempstead. Additional photos in my album show both him and your mother laughing with their friends and other guests at the reception.

Rabbi B was a family friend all through my childhood and I always enjoyed his warm smile and acceptance.

Leigh & I moved to Boston that same summer we wed and I did not have the chance to see the Rabbi again.

It is a pleasure to remember his twinkling eyes and smile, and his sincere wishes for my benefit each time he lifted his arms & closed his eyes in benediction. I can clearly picture him now in my mind's eye.

I hope you get many more testimonials to this decent, generous man.
With appreciation,
Judy (Fener) Peritz

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Dear Doug,

My memories of your father are as follows:

It was more than your father. Our families were very similar only my Mother did not speak with a Southern accent.

We had two boys and a girl as did your family. I was closest to you. Your brother was a bit too old for me to know really well and your sister Muff was similar in age to Meri. I think I linked Jeff to Lucy Jordon, who was probab ly the same age.

I don’t think I realized that your father was 6 years older than my father. They were both GOOD men, they were both tall, and kind and, frankly, I thought of your father as a surrogate father in the best sense.

My first memories were when the Temple was in the old Quonset Hut, which now I think is a milk and food store. The chapel was in the main part of the Quonset Hut and I have memories of meeting my lifelong friend, David Jordon that time when we were in Kindegarten at the Temple together. We then had classes where the milk store is now. I remember one teacher who was built a little like a football player, and he discussed that our first loyalty was to the United States and then to Israel. That was important to him. I went to religious school all the way through till 9th grade.

I have vivid memories of your dad as Rabbi raising his two hands at the end of his service to give the benediction of Peace. It was a comforting ritual that accompanied every service and it stays with me still.

It always amazed me that the anti-Semites were so stupid. All or our prayers aspired towards the idea of world unity and a world of Peace. Not much reason to be so angry with.

I thought I was the first boy to be Bar Mitzvahed at the new Temple, but it turns out, your Bar Mitzvah, Doug preceded mine by several months. I remember that your father had a lot of books in his office. I remember that his sermon had a fable or story to end with each Friday night and that was my favorite part of his Sermon. Even my father woke up to hear the Sermon.

It was only after I heard other rabbis that I began to truly realize what a great rabbi I had, although I was always appreciative of what a wonderful man he was.

I remember when I gave my reading from the Torah, I used a silver pointer and your Dad helped guide me along the passage. I loved the mystical experience of reading from the actual Torah. My passage had to do with Moses.

I have two regrets.

1. Even though I was a lazy bum, I’m a bit sorry that we never really learned to understand what we were reading. We learned to read Hebrew, but not to understand what the words meant besides just a couple like Baruch (Barack!) Blessed.

2. My second regret was that sometime in the early 1970’s I began to get interested in the Cabala and I am sorry that I was never able to discuss the Cabala or mystical teachings of the Old Testament with Rabbi Ballon. I am also puzzled by the animosity that the Cabala seems to generate in other rabbis.

Not that I think your Dad would respond that way, in fact that is why I wish I could have discussed it with him. This would include such ideas as the transmigration of souls and simply what his take was on this realm.

One way or another, I always thought of Jesus as simply a rabbi who taught the mystical teachings of the Old Testament and I don’t really know where that perception derived from. I don’t think we can so easily dismiss the Shroud of Turin, however. These kinds of things I would have liked to have discussed with him, but he was already gone and many times I think about how much I would have liked to have heard his take on all of this.

One story I remember has to do with Christmas. We were going to go around singing Christmas Carols and so we asked Rabbi Ballon what he thought about that and he said, essentially, “Go ahead and have a good time.”

I was very much impressed with his response because he understood if a person was secure in his Jewish identity, singing Christmas Carols would in no way threaten this identity. So we went and had a great time. Some of my closest friends were Christians and never once did that make me think about converting.

Another strong memory has to do more with the experience of being in the religious school at Nassau Community Temple.

This meant that I became friends with fellows my age who went to different high schools. I befriended two kids from Franklin Square and Hempstead. One kid’s name was Bryan and I can’t remember the other kid’s name.

In any event, we would meet at the Cinema at Roosevelt Field. This was a big deal for me. I was 14 (1962) or thereabouts and I took the bus all by myself to meet them at the Cinema and we saw Dr. No together and we also saw Judgement at Nuremburg. That film changed my life, with the real life footage of the skeletons being pushed into mass graves at the concentration camps.

I’ve never been the same, and we three Jewish kids from Nassau Community Temple, all on our own, experienced that event together. It helped us grow up in a variety of ways because not only had we done something that was very independent, we had also become friends even though we were from different high schools (which was a big deal at that time.) It taught us to think outside the box.

Reading through the blogs, makes me look forward to seeing a complete compilation of Rabbi Ballon’s sermons in a book I can hold in my hands.

Best regards,

Brother Marc Jeffrey Seifer

I put my middle name in there because that was my link to your brother, the other Rabbi in the family!

 

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REMEMBERING RABBI SIDNEY BALLON

By Rabbi Robert (Bob) (Bobby) Loewy

Congregation Gates of Prayer

Metairie, LA

Rabbis are often asked the same questions repeatedly. One of those queries is: “Why did you become a Rabbi?” Part of my response is always linked to the man who was the rabbi of my youth, Sidney Ballon. His example has been before me as I have fulfilled this calling for 35 years.

Like many, my first recollection of him is on the pulpit. I don’t recall any sermon in particular, though I do have distinct memories of being in the sanctuary at Nassau Community Temple following the death of President Kennedy. Rather, it was his pulpit presence that resonates. Rabbi Ballon (I never called him Sidney, though my parents did.) crafted his services with his Student- Cantors and organist, so that they flowed seamlessly. As a professional, I now have great admiration for that skill, though at the time, I of course took it for granted. I can hear his loud, strong voice, pronouncing the words of the Union Prayer Book, clearly and distinctly, the English and the Hebrew, giving emphasis where deemed appropriate.

Though I do not know the details of his back injury, since I was under the age of 10 at the time, I can now empathize. He exhibited amazing courage, strength and commitment by continuing to lead the congregation in worship, while dealing with significant back pain. This included hobbling onto the pulpit to be part of my brother Joe’s Bar Mitzvah. We will never forget that effort.

I now understand that his pulpit demeanor was an expression of Kavod hatsibur, respecting one’s congregation. The role of shaliach tsibur, prayer leader, is one that he took very seriously and I have embraced his example in my own rabbinate.

Like hundreds of others, I can recall him guiding me for my Bar Mitzvah and in Confirmation. Mine was the last Bar Mitzvah from my cohort of friends. It was also the last Bar Mitzvah where we used Ashkenazic pronunciation of Hebrew. After me, it was Sephardic, reflecting Rabbi Ballon’s desire to see us linked to Israel. He was an ardent Reform Zionist. Jean’s mosaics, created on his sabbatical, served as a constant link to Israel.

My Confirmation Class was also the last one to experience that rite of passage in the 9th grade. After us, it was 10th grade Confirmation, reflecting his passion for extending Jewish education for youth to the maximum. While I do not use his poem about the “cud chewing cow and the gum chewing boy” in my Confirmation classes, I do share his teaching that “God is not a cosmic bellhop.” I may be speaking to the next generation, but it is his voice as well.

During my high school years, Rabbi Ballon called and asked if I would be interested in accompanying him to the Crown Hts. section of Brooklyn for Simchat Torah. Perhaps this was a subtle way of baiting the hook for me to consider the rabbinate or it was simply a rabbi being kind to one of his more committed students. I had no idea what to expect and what an eye opening experience it was! With all of the Chasidim dancing in the streets, the singing and drinking… I was in a totally different Jewish world, one I could appreciate from afar, but never embrace. It opened my eyes to the larger Jewish world beyond NCT, LIFTY and Eisner.

I remember the awe I felt by simply riding in the car with him. After all, he was “the Rabbi!!” However, I was not sure what to think when he found a tight parking spot and bumped bumpers squeezing in. Little did I know at the time that this was what one did in New York, a skill I later mastered as well.

In retrospect getting past the “Rabbi” title should not have been that difficult. My parents, Janet and Ed, enjoyed a warm, friendly relationship with Sidney and Jean. We were in each other’s homes on a social basis. Rabbi Ballon was still “Rabbi Ballon” to me, but Jean was “Aunt Jean,” a warm, ebullient, free-spirit. I especially remember our families going to Providence for a Brown/Cornell football game. Though I now understand that rabbi/congregant friendships can be complicated, I believe that the one I witnessed taught me how special they can be.

As the youngest of the Loewy children, I was also younger than all of the Ballons. I recall Muff as being beautiful and Doug as mischievious, but over time it was Jeff z”l (may his memory be a blessing) with whom I was blessed to develop a friendship. The fact that we both became rabbis may have something to do with that. I can only imagine how proud Rabbi Ballon must have been that Jeff followed in his footsteps.

My connection with Jeff began when he substituted one day for his father in Confirmation class. We must have been studying the Jews in America, because Jeff drilled us all with one name: Gershom Mendes Seixas, not a household name, but the first Jewish clergyman in the colonies. It became a standing joke between us over the years. I thought that I was the only one who would remember it, but a few months ago, Jack Friedman, one of my Confirmation Classmates, saw a reference to him and linked it to that memorable day with Jeff.

I also take the credit for matching Jeff to Ann Lois. However, it was really Jeff, who noticed her, asked me if I knew who she was and then demanded in typical Jeff fashion that I introduce them. Our paths crossed many times over the years, either at UAHC/URJ or CCAR events. One highlight in particular occurred in 2007 at the Atlanta CCAR convention, where Jeff and I were chevruta/study buddies for a few hours. While I was certainly in the moment as we immersed ourselves in Jewish mystical teachings, my mind linked me across the years to my childhood rabbi.

I was honored to be asked by Yeshaya/Doug to share my thoughts on this occasion. Most who read this blog can say they were touched by Rabbi Sidney Ballon. I can say that his direct and indirect influence contributed to the choice of career that I embrace. On Friday evening, May 25, I will remember him in what I believe is the most appropriate way, first by telling my congregation about “my rabbi” and then delivering one of his sermons.

While today I teach my Confirmation students that when we die there are many paths of immortality, some of which are rational and some are simply matters of faith. Rabbi Ballon taught me that we continue in life by the deeds we perform and the lessons that we teach. Whether it be in the Yeshivah shel Maalah, the heavenly academy, or through the words and deeds that impacted our lives, Rabbi Sidney Ballon continues to live. His memory alone is a blessing.

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